


War Stories

by MrProphet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 00:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10708143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrProphet/pseuds/MrProphet





	War Stories

R2 whistled and peeped excitably, building up to a big dramatic flourish. The other astromech and even some of the larger agricultural droids in the sandcrawler’s hull were clearly lapping it up. It might not have been so bad, if only 3PO had not been quite so superb a linguist. He was proud to be fluent in over six million forms of communication, but there were times when it was a burden to understand every word that his counterpart came out with.

“You are brave,” the little red R2 unit beeped. “A credit to the model.”

“It was nothing,” R2 chirruped suavely. “All in the line of duty for droids of the royal service in those heady days of the Old Republic.”

“Royal service,” 3PO sniffed. “Arrant nonsense. As if either of us had ever been in royal service before the Princess came aboard Captain Antilles’ ship.”

“But you said…” gonked a Gonk droid.

“Oh, ignore old brassy boots,” R2 whooped. “He’s had his memory erased so many times his magic moments pay rent by the minute.”

“Well, really!”

“Anyway: There I was on the hangar deck of the Secessionist Command Carrier, hovering on my leg jets while those useless, leg-having battle droids skidded about all over the place in my oil slick.”

“You don’t have an oil slick!” 3PO snapped. “And you’ve certainly never had leg jets. Even if you had done, they’d have set fire to the oil slick.”

The other droids looked at 3PO, then back at R2, then back at 3PO, then back at R2.

“He’s got a point,” the Gonk gonked.

“It was oil, not petroleum,” R2 hedged.

“But those leg jets run pretty hot,” the red R2 unit noted in a disappointed whistle.

“No, listen!” R2 begged, but he had lost his audience and they soon drifted away.

“You really know how to ruin a story,” R2 whined.

“Well, really,” 3PO snapped. “Leg jets and Jedi knights. You know perfectly well that you spent the entire Clone War tallying loads on a spice freighter.”

“I can dream,” R2 peeped. “And one day I’ll find someone who’ll listen and tell the story  _my_  way. Just you wait and see.”


End file.
